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Longing characterized my years with my father. If I could only
meet his standards, ephemeral though they were, I would feel I
belonged. That I was safe, shielded from outside dangers. I had been scarred long before I learned that the threats came from within, that they were his personality disorder and addiction. Make no mistake– I never lacked for food, clothing, or shelter. We took family vacations. I received a wonderful education. I enjoyed many achievements, academically, professionally, and personally. To an outsider, my life probably looked normal, if not privileged. The impact of narcissistic abuse can be just as damaging and
traumatic as the scars caused by physical and sexual abuse. Possibly more, even, because the abuse is insidious. Invisible to detect. And the effects can outlive the abuser, almost in perpetuity. It has taken time, distance, and death, but I have been gradually able to piece together the parts of this poisonous puzzle. I started from the very beginning and assessed each vignette as a significant clue in a mystery I’ve only begun to figure out. It didn’t have to be this way. But it was. I wrote this book to help myself, and others, recognize and heal from the effects of narcissistic abuse.
Reviewed by K.C. Finn for Readers' Favorite
You'll See: A Story of Narcissistic Abuse, Survival, and My Journey to Understand is a work of non-fiction in the memoir, inspirational writing, and psychological subgenres. It is best suited to mature readers owing to specific content relating to abuse and trauma. Penned by author Suzanne Groves, this harrowing and important work delves into the author’s fifty-six-year-long struggle with her father's narcissistic abuse, vividly portraying her longing for approval and the devastating impact of emotional trauma endured over decades. Groves candidly reveals the insidious nature of narcissistic abuse, shedding light on the lasting scars it inflicts, challenging societal perceptions of privilege and normalcy, and offering a poignant narrative of resilience and healing for survivors of similar experiences.
Author Suzanne Groves has poured her heart and mind onto the pages to deliver a deeply moving and eye-opening memoir that has many useful perspectives on the insidious nature of narcissistic abuse. Her poignant recollections and raw narrative honesty paint a vivid picture of the profound impact her father's disorder had on her life, challenging the notion of what constitutes abuse and its lasting effects. The well-organized nature of the storytelling takes readers through the complexities of her issues with ease, exploring the relatable sense of longing for approval and the crushing realization of never attaining it, despite her many achievements and privileges. As she unravels her journey of survival and understanding, I found myself empathizing with her struggles and reflecting on the hidden scars left by emotional abuse with poignant moments of healing and reflection that will stay with me for a long time. Overall, You'll See is a compelling work about the importance of healing from the wounds of narcissistic abuse that I would highly recommend to anyone affected by it. An uplifting and informative book.
