Searching for the Shire is a nonfiction autobiographical self-help book written by Florence St. John. The author was at the worst of her preteen angst-ridden stage when her parents moved their family away from the changing demographic that Brooklyn had become and settled in a small suburban town in central Long Island. Florence had been on an academic par with her peers in the city, but suburban educational standards were stricter, and Florence found herself struggling to keep up. Her parents and guidance counselor at school had left her feeling that she was not college material, and failed to really give her any guidance on what to do after high school. After a brief and disastrous marriage, St. John’s initial foray into the working world as a data processor became complicated by the relationship she had suddenly found herself in with her boss. Despite his fatherly warnings to her about on-the-job relationships, he had smoothly seduced her and taken advantage of her trust in him.

Edward, a Vietnam veteran and an old school acquaintance, became her friend, co-conspirator and eventually her husband. She left her beloved Long Island environment to follow him to Texas where he knew he could get work. They would later settle in Georgia, where they raised their two children and built the house of Florence's dreams. But theirs was never the real romantic love she had always dreamed of, and she was increasingly aware of the fact that she needed to seek other avenues beyond her preconceived notion of the white picket fence and the strong and devoted provider.

Florence St. John’s Searching for the Shire takes a hard look at dysfunctional family relationships and the legacy of codependency passed on to those who've grown up under those conditions. The author's story is a compelling one, and her voice rings out with honesty, conviction and occasional ruefulness throughout. I found her drive and determination, as exemplified by her determination to build her dream house and her hard-won college degree in Accounting, to be inspirational indeed, and I found myself sighing as she briefly gives up her hard-won freedom, once again, to partner with Daniel. While quite supportive and understanding of many women's desires to be homemakers, St. John eloquently shows why it wasn't enough for her and discusses how the collapse of the soundest-seeming marriage can leave a woman with no working skills or experience to fend for herself in the outside world. While her memoir indicates that St. John's skills are numerical, her memoir is beautifully written and a joy to read. I hope she considers following this effort with a work of fiction next, as she's a gifted storyteller. Searching for the Shire is most highly recommended.

Searching for the Shire by Florence St. John takes us on a journey of self-discovery through one woman’s life. Florence had always felt tolerated, rather than unconditionally loved, as a child and she spent her adult years seeking acceptance and, yes, love, through a series of relationships and/or marriages that it seemed were almost convenient rather than for all the right reasons. Growing up in the '60s and '70s, at a time when women were seeking more from the world, Florence decided to take the route of least resistance, that of marriage and motherhood. This would lead her eventually to the realization that she was co-dependent and always needed others' approval for her own happiness. In time, she will discover that it is okay to say “No” and it is okay to worry about your own personal mental health, rather than to always focus on “fixing up” others.

As someone who has lived a co-dependent relationship in the past, I found Searching for the Shire to be a clarion call to my psyche. Reading Florence St. John’s words and deeds, I experienced many “Aha” moments as I was able to relate to her “need to be needed.” I suspect this issue is felt more intensely by women, but as a man who has experienced these issues, I was very easily able to relate to her thought processes and decision making. At the end of the day, this book can give real hope and a path out of co-dependency for anyone suffering from this. The book is simply a summation of St. John’s life that led her to the point of needing to find an answer to her continual problems. My biggest takes from this story were 1: It’s okay to be alone and 2: How can you expect anyone else to love you unconditionally when you don’t even love yourself? I think this book would prove very useful for those suffering from co-dependency or feelings of inadequacy.