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Reviewed by Viga Boland for Readers' Favorite
You don’t have to be a teacher to appreciate the delightful flavor of I Teach, Therefore I Wine by Christina Hammons, but you will enjoy it so much more if you are, or were a member of the teaching profession at some point in your life, as I was. Oh, the memories this book stirred, so much so that I nearly wanted to start writing my own version of I Teach, Therefore I Wine. For Hammons, “teachers and wine are partners in education” and she maintains that while “Wine may improve with age…any mood will improve with wine.” At a guess, Hammons is an expert on the subject. To share her expertise and expand on this premise, Hammons uses wine colors to equate with teaching experiences and moments. For instance, some of our teaching experiences have us “seeing red” e.g. attending Professional Development days which leave us with little more than a headache; committee “windbags” for whom you need a mute button; and those miserable rainy days when recess must be indoors.
Other experiences are “white light” moments for which white wine is the perfect finish e.g. the last day of school and 2-3 months of summer vacation! But then there are the “blush” events that leave your cheeks rosier than your wine: your slacks splitting at the back seam when you bend over; the desk chair that rolls away from you as you try to sit down; or the full flush that comes when you yell at the gym class to “hold your balls” when it’s time to stop playing. With each experience, Hammons recommends a particular wine e.g. “Sassy Bitch” is a pinot noir to help you survive the aforementioned windbag; summer vacation calls for “Bliss”, a chardonnay, while “Fat Ass Strawberry Fields” is the perfect rose wine for those split pants.
To round out the author’s own experiences, she shares several true stories from other teachers. Some make us laugh; others touch our hearts. But one thing is certain about I Teach, Therefore I Wine: it’s the perfect gift for that teacher who needs a stress-relieving read over the Christmas holidays. This fabulously entertaining book would make a great choice for a teachers' book club and would most likely prompt a slew of wonderful stories. Just be sure to have a good supply of red, white or blush wine to accompany the whine-fest! Clever, brilliant, and so enjoyable. Bravo!