Crossing Fifty-One: Not Quite a Memoir is a memoir in the autobiographical and family issues subgenres. It is best suited to the general adult reading audience and is penned by Debbie Russell. In this heartfelt portrayal of complex family dynamics, long-buried secrets, and introspective questions, we explore the life of the author and the legacy of her grandfather, Dr. Ralph Russell, who entered a federal drug-treatment facility known as a narcotic farm in the 1950s, sparking a series of events that would later affect both her parents and herself. So begins a journey of discovering who you are and who you can be once you let go of familial expectations.

Debbie Russell lays it all on the line in this interesting and original memoir concept, which also has many layers of mystery, intrigue, and storytelling woven seamlessly into the threads of the biographical chain of events. This makes for easy reading from a talented writer, as if one is delving deep into a novel, but then the emotional and psychological toll hits and we are reminded of how painfully real and challenging life can be. This delicate balance is achieved well as Russell paints cinematic portraits of the people who have had both positive and negative impacts on her life. Her narration discussing her struggles feels like a friend talking to a trusted confidant. Overall, Crossing Fifty-One is a profoundly moving work that I highly recommend to fans of unusual memoirs and emotional family dramas.

How can a memoir be “not quite a memoir”? The answer to that question will become obvious in the first few chapters of Crossing Fifty-One: Not Quite a Memoir by Debbie Russell. This book is indeed her memoir, where the age of 51 is especially significant. Although her grandfather Ralph (referred to as Papa throughout the book) “crossed fifty-one and only made it to 59…” her beloved dad “crossed fifty-one and made it all the way to 89.” In Debbie’s case, when her father was admitted to hospice, suffering from Parkinson’s, she was 51. That event precipitated a crisis of identity for Debbie that was so severe she began seeing a therapist. It’s also the point at which the analytical lawyer she had become began investigating her forebears, primarily her “Papa”, a doctor who voluntarily admitted himself to a “narcotics farm” for his addiction to Demerol. Was her current mental crisis linked in some way to her grandfather?

The method Debbie Russell chose to explore this connection makes this work “not quite a memoir’. Russell unearths and shares with readers numerous letters sent between her hospitalized Papa and his family. Through those letters, she learns much about her father’s relationship with his father. While secrets emerge, what is significant for Russell is the optimism, coupled with the love and acceptance between the two. These letters help clarify why she and her father shared a similar relationship, in sharp contrast to the unpleasant relationship Russell had with her mother. She and her mother were worlds apart in so many ways, and yet later, with her father growing weaker every day, somehow these two women needed to work together, however impossible that seemed most of the time.

For me, the best part was the universal truths and conclusions Russell draws about family interactions and the intentions behind secrecy. We hide the truth to protect loved ones from worry and pain, but is that the wisest thing to do? Crossing Fifty-One prompts readers to reflect on their family relationships. Perhaps by looking more closely at our forefathers, we can find explanations for our behavior and the volatile relationships with those we should love most. At the end, there is a long series of questions book club members would enjoy discussing. While reading letters with lots of family details and trivia might not appeal to all readers, their inclusion gives this memoir its uniqueness.